About Friend is a Verb

Friend is a Verb is my--Sherry Judd Toplyn's--way of both giving back and being selfish about the importance of friendship in my life.  There are ironies galore in my technology and social media journeys and I want to share them with anyone out there who might be interested in using the Internet to connect but might not know exactly how to begin.  Believe me, I am uniquely qualified as a come-from-behind techie.  You'll laugh, you'll cry--you'll realize that yes, you too, can and should try this at home!

To paraphrase Law and Order, my erstwhile favorite show, this is my story:  In March 2009 I was a housewife and a rudderless one at that.  My younger son had just had a terrible health scare and had come home to finish the semester at our local community college, leaving my nest suddenly not so empty.  There went the redecoration projects, the archiving of family photos, the resolve to lose those last five pounds.

While my son was adjusting to a whole host of new medications, I was deputized to drive him back and forth every day to his classes. And wait. For hours. Outside the cafeteria. One day, on the way to my fourth cup of coffee I passed the Census recruiting table and a light bulb went on.  I saw a civil service test that I knew I could ace.  I saw a chance to make good money walking around my neighborhood.  I saw a 20-year gap in my resume erased by a job two miles from my house with flexible hours.

What I didn't foresee was my assignment to the Census Technology Help Desk.  Our mission was to support not only the local office of 100 or so people, but the 500 field workers with their laughably unreliable handheld computers.  You could have stood on Mt. Everest and heard my friends laughing:  "You? Computers? In the same sentence?" ...and so on...

But riddle me this: I l turned out to be great at it and I loved it.  My bosses, Tony Sanchez and Kyvaughn Brown (both young enough to be my children) taught me everything I could absorb and then some.  I used my knowledge from a Technical Writing course I had taken at Westchester Community College and created documentation scripts to guide our merry band of 14.  I re-set SD cards, re-imaged laptops, re-booted desktops and re-programmed VoIP phone systems.  Sometimes all before lunch.

As the months progressed, my son thrived.  He found a major that suited him better than his away college ever did.  His health returned, and his grades soared.  Which for some combination of extreme hubris and stupidity put me in mind of taking a summer computer science class.  Sure, doesn't everybody?  I enrolled in a summer course, Introduction to Computer Science--180 hours of instruction spread over five weeks, three nights a week.  Do the math!  There were days that I could barely keep my eyes open.  There were days I wanted to throw my Flash drive off the Tappan Zee Bridge and jump in after it.  How did I spell "humbling experience?" J-A-V-A-S-C-R-I-P-T.  One of the triumphs of my life was getting an A in that course!

Fast forward to December 2009.  I re-set my millionth password and was promoted out of Tech to be Administrative Assistant of our office, an all-consuming position that my friends joked left me less time to see them than being Secretary of Commerce would.  Hard to disagree.  Meanwhile, I noticed an intriguing certificate program in Social Media Marketing in the SUNY Purchase continuing education catalogue and signed up.  If you're losing, why not double down, is my motto!

Don't I ever learn?  The courses are beyond wonderful but work-life balance is hard enough without adding school.  Meanwhile my friends say I have subtracted them and there are rumblings.  I try a counter-intervention:  Join Facebook, I say; let's keep in touch via Twitter.  At least, get my e-mail address right, OK?

But there is fear and resistance to my social connection scheme.  "I don't know where to start.  I don't have time.  My kids will laugh at me."  Suddenly I am back on the Help Desk talking Census workers down from the ledge--"You can do this, I can help you. Just push this button. Do you see a light?  Is it green or amber?"

That, my friends, real and virtual, is why I have started this blog.  Because if I can master these so-called tech skills and have them enrich my life and deepen/broaden my friendships, anyone can.  Can and should.  There is a 21st century world out there, and we technophobe Baby Boomers will feel and act so much younger if we are a part of it.

So, let me help you, step by step by step.  The US Government has taught me well.  Just answer your door for your poor, long-suffering Census worker, think of this blog as your tax dollars at work and chill the wine for the night that I re-appear in person to join you.  Because there are some things even Facebook can't do!